I feel like such a bad friend right now. A few months ago a friend of mine found out she was having complications with her pregnancy. Her son wasn't growing and she didn't have enough aminotic fluid. While I felt bad for her I couldn't help but think in the back of my head at least your baby is going to live!
I found out just a little bit ago that she was induced today at 35 weeks, baby weighing 4lbs and something and again that thought crept into my mind. When I read peoples comments about it I just get more angry instead of more worried or sad for her. I mean yeah he is a preemie but really he isn't that small and at 35 weeks there aren't that many complications that can happen. Yes I am sorry this happened to her but again I KNOW it could be A LOT worse! I want to scream to people to stop feeling sorry for her and be happy for her. Be happy that the complications weren't life threatening, be happy that she can bring her baby home and watch him grow up.
I don't know how to be there for her because I feel this way. All I want to do is tell her how lucky she is. I feel horrible that I feel this way but I can't seem to help it.
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You are not a bad friend at all. It takes time to be able to see past your own pain. After I had Olivia, I realized a woman I speak to regularly had a double mastectomy in April and I did not know until July! Sometimes we really need to focus on our hurting to get past.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure her baby being a preemie is a stress for her and hopefully her baby has no health concerns. Just let her know you are thinking about her, sometimes that is all I am capable of saying!
I do not think that you are a bad friend at all. I think everything you are feeling is natural and you are entitled to your emotions. You are hurting and you have to get through that first before you can be there for your friend.
ReplyDeleteAnd you should not feel guilty for not being able to be there for her. She seems to have other people supporting her and so she is getting that at least even if you can not give that to her. And its perfectly understandable to feel like she is lucky. She does get to take her baby home. Its just a different situation and you have to allow yourself the right to feel each emotion whatever it is.