Tuesday, February 8, 2011

A Late Happy Birthday

A VERY late Happy 1st Birthday to my baby girl Isabella! We celebrated here at home but it has taken me forever to actually get on here to blog about it. I am happy to say it is from being to busy not from being to upset. I just haven't had much free time in the past couple weeks to sit down at the computer, we have been on the go constantly it seems.
We had a combined party for Katie and Isabella since their birthday's are so close and it was pretty much the only day a couple family members would be able to get out here for a party. Katie had no problems sharing the day, and I hope Isabella didn't either. Katie picked princess decorations, of course there were lots of pink and purple everywhere! We released some pink balloons for Isabella, I always enjoy that so much! It is so beautiful to watch those balloons fly way up into the sky. I hope it is just as beautiful for her to watch them flying up to her!
I think by having the party on her actual angelversary helped a lot. I was so busy that I didn't get much of a chance to get to down about it. I think if we had just been sitting around doing nothing it would have been a prettty sad day. Instead the joy of the party really helped lift my spirits.
I want to give a very special shout out and HUGE thank you to our friends Lisa and Anthony for remembering Isabella for her birthday, and for remembering us during that time. Lisa made a beautiful flower arrangement, with little snowflake charms in it :) We got it in the mail a couple days before her birthday. Each kind of flower in the arrangement had a special meaning behind them. We are so thankful to have such wonderful people as our friends. Lisa has been like a rock to me since finding out about Isbella's diagnosis. Anyways thank you you guys, you can never know how much your friendship and the flowers you sent mean to us.
Also a Thank You to everyone who sent Isabella birthday wishes on facebook, again stuff like that means more to us than words can describe. For her to not be forgotten is the most important thing and to know there are still some people out there who think of her, and us during the hard times, is just so wonderful, it all brings happy tears to my eyes :)
Now that the day has come and passed I feel like that black cloud that was following me around has finally moved on! Like all the other days it seems the dread leading up to the day was actually worse than the day itself. I am just happy to be getting back to normal life again, to be feeling good again! I know there will still be hard days, there will still be sad days and I am okay with that. I will never "move on" from my daughters death, all I can do is move forward and learn to live with it. Learn to live with this ache that will always be in my heart, I will always miss her and there will always be a part of my heart that is missing. The only thing that will heal it is joining her Heaven! So until that day comes, which hopefully isn't anytime soon lol, I will continue to honor her memory and enjoy life the way she taught us to!